I’m starting to think that actually in some ways parenting is easier on your own. I can hear all the single mums and dad’s out there cursing me already. Perhaps easier isn’t the word I’m looking for. It’s just, my hubby works freelance and often goes away for short stints at a time. Every time he tells me he is going away I dread it, I really fret and it gets me down. But then as soon as he is gone and I have no choice but to get on with it, actually, I cope. Generally things run smoothly and I feel somewhat in control, because well there is only one person in charge, one person making all the decisions. There’s no bickering, no disagreements, no competition, no feeling guilty when the other one is doing more, no anger when the other is doing less. There isn’t really much to do in the evenings, so actually the housework gets sorted then, and the house stays pretty tidy, because… well (he will kill me for this), but he is the messy one. So actually, once I get into a little routine of my own I find myself actually enjoying it!
Don’t get me wrong I miss him, I really do. I miss our evenings together and I miss adult company and conversation. I’m shattered by the time he comes home. But I think sometimes being thrown in at the deep end, it forces you to sink or swim. I have plenty of moments throughout the day where I feel like I might drown. But I always make it through and come bed time I feel really pleased with myself. It has taught me that I should have more faith in myself and trust that I can do this mummy thing, and actually, why not just go it alone and get on with it, and let my hubby be a wonderful extra! Rather than trying to do this parenting thing so very equally all the time. I got this.