So here we are, 3 months in as a family of four. How can I sum up the last 3 months to you all. A bumpy ride at sea would be a good description, I think ultimately you just have to go with the flow. I think its been most challenging when I’ve tried to swim against the tide and tried to force a routine or got upset that life had changed SO much. I am realising that you have to make comprimises constantly, you have to be utterly selfless. I think that is what I have found the hardest to deal with, because I have been pregnant for so long and already sacrificed so much (we all know I’m mainly talking about the vino blanco) but other things too (intimacy, remotely attractive underwear, the best cheeses, sleep…I could go on). But I think you expect to finally be able to claw your life back and actually you forget how incredibly time consuming and full on, parenting a newborn is. I know i’ve done it before and should have remembered, and yes some things did come flooding back, but that dependency on you that a new baby has is a shock all over again. There is no more ‘me’ time, come 7pm when I would normally put the toddler to bed and have a bit of time to myself has gone, and baby is stuck to you day and night. After a night of feeds and little sleep, suddenly you’re up at the crack of dawn with a toddler who needs all of your love and attention and to do every little thing for them.
I have basically come to the conclusion that having two is actually impossible and most of the day will go horribly wrong, but the odd moment they will be in sync and both happy at the same time, or both asleep (feels like winning the lottery btw), and you can pause for a moment, smile to yourself and think ‘i’m coping’ maybe only just…but we are all still alive.
Now 3 months on, having had a hell of a ride, my daughter who started at a new nursery is happy and settled, my baby boy is sleeping through and growing fast. My husband and I have managed a date night that finished at 10pm (crazy late night for us…I know rock n roll). But best of all, come 7pm babies are in bed and im enjoying a glass of wine every night again. Bliss.
So hang on in there…it all works out in the end.